Posted: June 7, 2011 via http://www.joahna1024.wordpress.com
Just recently, I have moved in to my new apartment and it’s totally different from where I used to live—more spacious, well ventilated, beautifully painted, and more welcoming. As I entered in my new place, I released a heavy sigh of relief. I belong here, I thought to myself.
Moving in to a new place is equally exciting and tiring. Since my weekends were always loaded with travel schedules, I wasn’t able to pack my things up thinking it will only take me some hours. But to my disgust, it took me one painful day. Just when I almost become frantic, my friends I, M, and L, came to the rescue.
While packing my stuff, I have unearthed some serious old papers, magazines, books, and letters. Some of which are already yellowing but some are still looking new and untouched. These were kept with the intention of one day being read and not to stay piled up in my bookshelf. I even found a carved wood and a compact disk where sweet nothings were engraved given to me by an ex-boyfriend two years ago. I have also stumbled upon old photos during my HS years. At the sight of it, I can’t help but drift back to the memories of yesteryears.
I stared at my stuffs packed in different sizes of cartons and realized I have been packing the same things every time I move in to a new place since my college years. I wonder why it’s so hard to let go of these things nor to just leave them in our house. The thought of it is sickening because it makes my packing a burden when it is not supposed to be.
Each time I start moving to another place, it felt like I can’t move along without these things with me. But this is me. I put so much sentimental value on these things even if it will mean reminders of a should-be-forgotten past. Then I realized I shouldn’t be taking it this way.
The stuff toys, letters, photos, and other things that my exes (and other special people) gave me will remain safely tucked in my possession. I am unsure why I am still keeping these things with me but I know these will provide me connections from my past. In fact, at the sight of these things, I realized how much I have been growing up in dealing with my life, with my heart. Each time I retrieve them from my treasure boxes, I no longer remember the pains instead brings smile on my face.
I don’t regret what I’ve been through from the past because I won’t be as strong and as successful as I am now without those painful streaks of life and of falling in love. With my new apartment, I am starting a new me. These old stuffs will stay in my possession to keep me reminded of the road I should be taking rightfully. It will remind me that I already have enough of old stuffs that I shouldn’t crave for more. And it will also provide me the red flags I should be giving attention to whenever I fall blindfolded again.
So I continue packing up as I continue moving on.